Curious to understand more on how to improve internal communication, I have been investing time and money attending several masterclasses focusing on personal growth and professional communication. The red thread in these masterclasses is “Transactional Analysis” (TA). I believe if we consciously spent time to understand each other better, we’ll be more successful in growing SAAS companies and have more fun while working together.
My experience is when times get rough; for example when revenue stagnates, or when a heap of money gets in from a Venture Capitalist, owners and senior leaders tend to fall in the trap to stop communicating to their people, like they used to; listening, open, passionate, driven, involving beautiful insights from their incredible staff, and so on…
How can we keep our calm throughout times of growing pains or other changes? One toolbox is out there since the 1960s. Dr. Eric Berne’s, transactional analysis explains how ego states contribute to communication conflicts.
By modernizing Berne's three-ego theory and applying it to workplace dynamics, it will cultivate a deeper level of mutual comprehension among team members. Resulting in a vision and goal setting, where people, in all levels of the organization, feel listened to and understand what they are contributing to the overall success of the company.
Berne's theory puts forward that individuals respond to confrontation, management, and authority from one of three ego states. Let's explore further:
The Three Ego States are:
Parent
Adult
Child
Also referred to as the PAC theory, Berne suggests that our communication style and conflict management in adulthood are predominantly shaped by experiences during our formative years, particularly the first 7 to 8 years of life. This principle underlines the significance of nurturing healthy interpersonal skills in managing personnel, especially within business contexts.
Transactional analysis focusses on how we communicate with others, framing each interaction as a transaction. By understanding the impact of our words and behaviors, we gain insight into fostering positive engagements and mitigating conflicts.
Berne advocates for adopting an 'adult ego-state' mindset to facilitate successful transactions characterized by rationality and assertiveness, without emotional bias.
Parent Ego State: Including nurturing and controlling aspects, the parent ego state is influenced by past experiences and driven by emotions. The nurturing parent fosters supportive, empathetic communication, while the controlling parent adopts a domineering, judgmental behavior, often originated from unresolved familial dynamics.
Child Ego State: Comprising natural, curious, and adaptive components, the child ego state embodies vulnerability, curiosity, and adaptability. The natural child is characterized by innocence and naivety, while the adaptive child adjusts behavior to conform or rebel against authority and the company system one is working in.
Avoiding Counterproductive Behaviors: Berne warns against behaviors coming from the critical parent ego state, which can create employee distrust and disengagement. Signs include public humiliation, micromanagement, and speaking from a parental perspective, fostering resentment and hinders effective communication.
Effective Communication Strategies: Berne advocates for adopting an adult-to-adult communication style, grounded in logic and facts from previous experiences. By engaging in productive conversations and treating others with respect and empathy, software companies can cultivate positive interpersonal relationships and further develop a harmonious work environment.
In conclusion, transactional analysis offers valuable insights into understanding communication styles and resolving conflicts in the workplace. By embracing an adult ego-state mindset and will create empathetic, respectful interactions, companies can solve challenges more effectively and promote organizational “togetherness” and success. Nurturing Parents, adult and free child behavior will light up businesses as Christmas trees.
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